Fairytale, ending (a parody) - 2016

My mother said “Believe in fate,

It may come soon, it may come late

But I believe when we are born

Our perfect partner too is formed.

One day I’m sure your paths will cross

And all your troubles will be past.”

 

“But mother dear, how will I know

Which one of all the routes to go ?

How many footpaths must I follow?

To keep myself from feeling hollow ?

How can I find the one ordained?

What if he goes by car or train?

How can I know where love is waiting?

Perhaps I should try online dating.

 

And what if by some unseen thread

Our hearts are to the same place led.

Our footprints follow in the dust

But then he takes a different bus.”

 

And then at last a prince is met

Instead of frogs with kisses wet.

I feel his lips soft pressed to mine

And when I wake the sun will shine.

I gaze upon his lovely face

And wait for his sweet words of grace.

What balm and comfort will he send?

To sooth my aching heart, to mend

Those cracks and wounds I feel so deep.

But this is how he wakes my sleep:

 

“Oh help me love, thank god you’ve come,

My life is hell, please turn it round.

Please fix my job and clear my debt.

I haven’t done my laundry yet.

Feed me, love, and wash my socks.

Lock all my horrors in a box.

You must cling on for I am sinking,

And most of all, please, stop me drinking.”

 

I see my prince is dressed in grey,

His crown of jewels is thrown away.

I try to hold his weight and mine,

My arms are weak, the rope is fine.

The tide pulls hard then washes back

And for a while there is some slack.

But soon the current pulls him low,

I know it’s time to let him go.

 

And so I walk my lonely path

And seek the routes where none will pass,

In empty woods, no fear or fuss.

I wished I’d missed that sodding bus.